How Do You Feel?
OPINION: It is difficult for journalists to report on human suffering without talking to those who are grieving the death of their loved ones. But sometimes the coverage can border on 'grief porn.'
Before I say what I want to say I need to say what needs to be said first:
Terrorism is never justified.
Targeting civilians is never acceptable.
Holding hostages is never humane.
Reporting from a war zone is particularly challenging for any news reporter or press organization. Whatever communiques come from either side of a conflict need to be vetted & verified before they are accepted as ‘likely’ facts. Often that verification is near impossible. So a journalist needs to rely on legitimate and trusted sources in the governments, organizations, militaries & militias they know to be truthful & trustworthy.
Very often the most accurate information comes from sources of sources - those who have the ear of those in the know and can relate what is really happening behind the tragic scenes. Nevertheless, contradictory information finds its way into the public perception.
For instance, in spite of investigations by news services like the Associated Press, The New York Times and Cable News Network, and those conducted by both the Israeli and American intelligence communities, there is still widespread reporting in the Arab world that the hospital explosion in Gaza last week was caused by the Israelis. That in contradiction to the reporting of those mentioned above that the human tragedy was likely caused by Islamic Jihad. It’s unlikely that there will ever be definitive proof of who was actually culpable.
And so, you have Western news organizations like CNN, who do not have access to the Gaza Strip, relying mostly on their reporters in Israel, Egypt & Lebanon. And you have Arab news networks like Aljazeera out of Qatar, who do have reporters in Gaza, seeing and reporting a different story, or at least a different perspective.
There is, of course, no doubt that the surprise, brutal, murderous Hamas attack on civilians in Israel on October 7th of 2023 was an unconscionable and reprehensible slaughter. It can not be justified, even by placing it in context of the occupation of Palestinian territories and the death & destruction that has been brought to Palestinians by Israel for decades.
But, to watch it being celebrated in street protests across the Arab world is sickening. Those sentiments of rage are not to be confused with the legitimate longings and protestations being expressed by oppressed Palestinians.
It is also sickening to see the daily death being unleashed from the skies above Gaza on innocent Palestinian children, women & men. In spite of the generally accepted belief that Hamas uses civilians & hostages as human shields. In spite of the generally accepted belief that Hamas uses humanitarian infrastructure - hospitals, schools, UN facilities, refugee neighborhoods - as missile & artillery launching pads, weapons stores and hiding places. The Israel Defense Force knows there are civilians in danger even as they continue a bombing campaign unprecedented in its destruction.
I don’t have a TV. So, I don’t watch cable news. I get my information online from sources like the Times, The Washington Post, AP, The Guardian, BBC and the like. But, I needed to see this war play out on video in real time. So, I subscribed to Sling TV. I have been switching between CNN & Aljazeera, with forays into MSNBC and ABC News.
Besides the diplomatic maneuverings and potential military operations of all parties involved, what has struck me most are the human stories, being told and retold. Almost every hour on CNN there are Israeli family members telling gruesome stories of precious souls who have been taken from them or killed. Almost every hour on Aljazeera there are Palestinian family members telling gruesome stories of precious souls who have been displaced or injured or killed.
Any moral high ground has long been lost, or at least obscured or ignored. Any sense of “Peace on Earth” is being buried along with the dead in graves in both Israel and Gaza. Rage is all the rage in this war. But, as has been said: Rage is not a good advisor. Nor is revenge or grief.
And so this war is becoming increasingly more violent and deadly. And it threatens to burst its borders and inflame the region, possibly even bring a world conflagration.
I can not comprehend the devastating grief being experienced by the families of dead Israelis and dead Palestinians. I can not fathom the trauma being visited upon the rape victims & hostages brutalized by Hamas. I can not truly understand the deprivation being borne by the Palestinians in Gaza who are without food, water, fuel, medicine and shelter from the ceaseless Israeli bombardment. This is all truly gut-wrenching.
Journalists have always been faced with how to tell incredibly heart-breaking stories of tragedy, especially those man-made. They are often obligated to interview those in deep stages of grief. I have always cringed at the question inevitably asked of victims of disasters: “How do you feel?” It’s intrusive. It can seem insensitive. But, it is considered necessary to understand the story, to internalize the impact, to empathize with the sufferers.
I expect reporters to report on those in intense emotional pain, to have them share their stories with the world. It’s the job of the press. It’s what is. It’s the truth. But it can be too much. It can appear fetishistic. It can become ‘grief porn.’
Right now, I believe that that is what I am seeing and feeling - 'grief porn.’ I don’t think I can take much more. I want to be empathetic. But, it’s become overwhelming.
At this stage in this unbelievably gruesome war, what point does the retelling of these cathartic outpourings of emotions serve? Might it not cause more suffering? Does it not further enrage? Does it not entrench hatreds? Does it not fuel the flames of further violence? Does it not lead political & military leaders to push their morals and humanity aside and consider, justify and carry out war crimes? I think it really does no good anymore.
It should be understood and accepted that a war crime by one side does not justify a retaliatory war crime by the other side, no matter the horrific nature of the original crime, regardless of the grief and rage it engendered. Civilians must never be legitimate targets of any warriors. That’s a ‘law of war.’ Although, increasingly, the Geneva Conventions have become quaint. As one commentator noted, it seems all the world is now fighting like ISIS.
So, let those who need to grieve, do so, in private. Let the rest of us use our empathy to achieve a measure of clear-eyed and well-informed sanity, free of fear and hatred. Let our leaders, who threaten the lives of thousands with their harsh & hasty decisions, embrace prudence, patience and peaceful intentions.
For those who grieve, I weep.